I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
