he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
