She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize