can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
