no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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