Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
