It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
