Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
