is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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