There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
time to smoke my breakfast
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
