i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
