i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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