Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
