if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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