Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
