Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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