you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im holly from the hills drunk
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
