So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
