No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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