I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize