I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
