I think scott just propositioned me for sex
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
