i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
