There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wish you could order shots online.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
When are your genitals available?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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