My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
