I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
