if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
