There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
