I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
