bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You made out with two different species that night
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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