Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
