? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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