Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
