They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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