try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
