Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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