My liver just broke up with me...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
