Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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