And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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