It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
