she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
