At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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