It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
