"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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