Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
