Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
