Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
