I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
God I need to hump something, right now.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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