my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's shark week go big or go home
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
