Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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