In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
