if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
