These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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