Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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