I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaÃt comercial?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
