Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
