Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
