Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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